If I had the Strength
by Egyptian Princess
Summary: Love is in the air. Will Lita find love with a true friend, or will she be too afraid to make a commitment?


Authors Notes: Okaaayy...I guess I have been on a writing spree this weekend...I have had a lot of inspiration today. Okay, I'm downstairs watching 'Haunted History' at 11:09 p.m. on Saturday night March 2nd 2002. It's about Hollywood this time. I know this stuff about ghosts is crap, but I still get creeped out whenever I watch these things...*~-~* I love it too. It's fascinating how stupid people can be if they think there are such things as ghosts. I don't believe in them, and yet I'm still freaked out about these kind of things...It must be the music. It's creepy music too! Now they're talking about a cold spot...maybe it's jsut a hidden vent that no one can see...did they ever think about THAT?! Noooooo! Stupid superstitious people. Hellllpppp!!! Help me blankie! (tee he! I'm just kidding!!) I'm scared! Ha ha ha ha! *she laughs madly and looks really crazy* Oooookaaay, I'm better now. I watch during the show, and write during the commercials, and this is the only time I'm glad that commercials are long and annoying as they are. Oops, shows back on! Just kidding. NOW it is. See ya soon! - - - Okay. Here's the story.  
  
haunted hollywood shmollywood...shaddup!  
~ ~ ~   
  
If I had the Strength   
  
~ ~ ~   
  
Lita Kino was walking home from school as she usually did. She was holding a horrible test paper with the grade of 69% on it. It was an improvement over the 52 that she had gotten last week, and it was certainly better than Serena's. Although, she did feel sorry for Serena. Serena actually tried, and studied as hard as she could, but she could never seem to cram the stuff in her head. She was glad it was a Friday, or she would have to stay up all night studying to bring her grades up. At least it wasn't as hard as high school, those years were torture.   
  
Lita reached her apartment to find a (-commercials over!- Don't worry, I won't do this anymore! ^.^ P.S. I can't go sit on the couch now, because if I do, I feel really scared. I KNOW IT'S NOT REAL!!! So I'm stuck at this computer until this show is over and even longer. Oooh! Someone just threw herself out of the eleventh story window-Oh shut UP about the frekin' cold spots!- and was unnoticed for two days! Bathrooms?! They haunt the bathrooms?!!! Holy crap! And it's by Marilyn Monroe too! I was also wondering why Elton John wanted to meet her if he's gay! My mom hates that song too, Candle in the Wind...) bunch of roses laying by the door. She picked them up and couldn't find a note. She went inside and put them in a vase and went around watering her plants. She was just about to sit down when the phone rang.  
  
"Hello?"  
  
"Hi, Lita," said Asanuma.  
  
"Hey, what's up? How was the test?"  
  
"I got in! It wasn't really_that_hard, but I made it."  
  
"I'm so happy for you! Why don't you come over and celebrate? We could have tea and-"  
  
"Why don't you come over here and celebrate. Besides, I have something I want to give you. You_do_know what day it is, don't you?"  
  
"No, should I?"  
  
"Uh, hello? It's your birthday. What's up with you? You seem a bit down."  
  
"Is it really my birthday? I had no idea that it had come. I guess I was preoccupied. I've had a horrible day...I failed another test by just one point."  
  
"Oh...Well, maybe you just need something to work for, to look forward to. I know your hopes and dreams, and I know how much you want to own a restaurant and flower shop. I just wish that you would inspire yourself daily to keep going and work for your dreams."  
  
"What are you talking about?! I work hard for my dreams! I try the hardest that I can! You don't know how hard it is to always have everyone rubbing it in your face that you can do better, but don't support you! They parade around like they know everything but don't bother to help you!"  
  
"You know that's not true! Everyone helps you, and you know it. We all support you, and we don't 'parade' around like we know everything! You're just feeling sorry for yourself, and making us feel bad and like we don't_try_to help you."  
  
"Just shut up! I don't want to talk to you," Lita slammed the phone down and cried. She didn't want to listen to anyone. They were all wrong! They knew nothing about what she had gone through! Her parents had died when she was very young, and they weren't there to support her.  
  
Lita sat down on her window seat, and looked outside at the rain that had started to fall. Who was she kidding? Asanuma was right. All she was doing was kidding herself. She had great friends who cared a lot about her and would do anything for her. She even had Asanuma who, even though he hardly showed it, cared about her more than he let on.  
  
Lita got up and got busy baking dinner, and a cake for herself while she thought about how to apologize to Asanuma. She really shouldn't have yelled at him like that.   
  
The pot roast wouldn't be done for about an hour, so she made some tea and watched a little t.v.   
  
What was wrong with her anyway? Why did she have to be so aggressive? She was always pushing people away. Maybe that's why she couldn't ever keep a boyfriend, she kept pushing them away. Besides her close friends and Darien, the only person who kept getting closer to her as time went on was Asanuma. He didn't care that she had a bad reputation for fighting. He didn't even care that she was just a bit taller than him...  
  
The doorbell rang just as she was sitting down to dinner, and as she was opening the door, the storm grew louder and louder.  
  
"Hey, Lita. I just wanted-"  
  
"Asanuma! What are you doing out in this weather?? You could get sick or even killed! Get in here and get warm. Have you eaten anything? What are you doing here?"  
  
"No, and I wanted to tell you something. Rather, I wanted to ask you something."  
  
"Well, come sit down and have some tea and some roast."  
  
"I don't want to ruin your birthday. I sent you the roses to cheer you up, and as a birthday present...I thought that you might want some company. Ya know, since no one could come out in this weather."  
  
"I don't see why YOU did. I thought that you might not speak to me for a while after what I said. After I hung up on you, I realized that you were right, and that I did have friends that cared about me and would do anything for me."  
  
"I was hoping that you would realize that, and pay attention to what I'm about to say. I came here to tell you that I love you. I can't tell you how much I do, and I thought that I couldn't live after you were abducted. I was so upset that I couldn't even eat without thinking of you and crying. My heart felt as if it was torn in two. The other part was with you, wherever you were, but I didn't know. I had no hope that you would come back, or that you were even alive.   
"I just want to know that you can understand how I feel, and that you won't laugh...I know you've been hurt before, and I know it must have hurt to not have someone there to comfort you, but I want to help. If I had the strenght to fight for justice and peace, I would, and I would be beside you. I want to be with you wherever you go. I want you Lita, I need you, and I don't want you to leave me again..."  
  
Lita sat across from him, and didn't say a word. Was this really happening? Was Asanuma really saying that he loved her, that he needed her? No one had ever told her that...He wanted to help her...He wanted to make her life better by just being with her.  
  
She looked up and saw that Asanuma was right next to her, sitting on the floor, looking up into her eyes, waiting for her to say something. She stared down at him in disbelief.  
  
Asanuma got up and said, "I meant every word that I said. I'm not trying to fool you, and then drop you like a stone. I love you Lita, don't you see that? Don't you have anything to say?"  
  
"I have...so many things that I want to say...Why couldn't you have said this sooner? Why couldn't you have told me this when I was sure of my feelings, and knew my own heart and mind? My mind tells me one thing, and my heart another."  
  
"What are they telling you," he asked gently.  
  
"My head tells me that what I'm hearing is real, and that you wouldn't hurt me. My heart is saying that I love you, but that I shouldn't give it a chance. I do love you and want to give you a chance, but I don't know if I'm strong enough to try again."  
  
"I'll be strong for you. I'll lift you up and hold you while you forge ahead in life. Let me be with you, let me guide you through life."  
  
Lita got up and said, "It's getting late, and you need some sleep. Why don't you go sleep in my room, it's more comfortable in there."  
  
Asanuma looked at her and felt his heart sink. He walked into the other room, and stayed there. Lita came in a moment later to get some night clothes, and handed him a large shirt to sleep in.   
  
"Have a good nights sleep, Asanuma...Good night," she said gently, and walked out of the room. She put dinner away, and got ready for bed.  
  
Lita pulled the couch out and got some sheets from the linen closet. She put the bed together, and went into the bathroom to change.   
  
She sat in front of the mirror and looked at herself. What was so great about her anyway? Sure she was tall and semi-slender, but who cared about that? He must see something that I don't...  
  
She put on a long shirt and got tried to sleep on the couch. The storm raged outside. Lightning flashed, and thunder roared, but she didn't care. Her whole body was shaking, and she felt tears rolling down her cheeks. The tears were hot and angry, yet sad. She snuggled deeper into the blankets, but couldn't seem to get warm.   
  
She got out of bed and went to check on Asanuma. She put another blanket on his bed so that he wouldn't get sick, and grabbed another blanket out of the closet and went back to bed.  
  
It was two-thirty in the morning, and still Lita couldn't sleep. She could feel the anxiety and fear of what would happen the next morning, and wanted to go to sleep and never wake up.   
  
The next thing she new, she heard the door of her room creak open. What was he doing out of bed, she wondered. She was about to sit up, when she felt him sit down on the couch.  
  
"Lita?"  
  
"What," she asked, not turning to face him.  
  
"I know you're a bright person, and I don't know if I put this properly...I want you to marry me."  
  
Lita shivered. The room felt colder and the covers weren't helping. Asanuma put his arms around her, and leaned over her, his head in her hair. He breathed in and out. Lita felt a shiver go up her back, and at the same time, felt an enormous amount of warmth flood through her. "Asanuma."  
  
"Yes?"  
  
She sighed and closed her eyes, and in a matter of seconds, she was fast asleep...  
  
~ ~ ~   
  
This felt awkward, and yet so right...He breathed into her hair, and thought of all the things that made him love her. He looked at her slender form under the blankets, and imagined what it would be like to lay next to her forever...Asanuma climbed into the bed and wrapped his arms around her. She was so perfect and yet so distant. She was the love of his life, yet not his...not yet. He would make her speak tomorrow. He would get her to answer him.  
  
~ ~ ~   
  
Lita Kino woke to find a pair of strong arms wrapped around her, and the body of a man next to her...She assumed that Asanuma had stayed with her all night, and did't feel like getting back up and into her room.   
  
She got up and covered him gently. She went into the kitchen and started making breakfast. Asanuma woke up soon after that. She was still in her night shirt when they sat down to breakfast, and she felt a little uncomfortable, but she also didn't want to get up.  
  
They ate in silence. Asanuma was thinking of ways to approach the subject carefully, but truthfully. Lita was thinking of ways to get him to stay for the day, but not sound like she needed him to stay.  
  
But she wanted him to stay, so she said, "Why don't you stay over for a while, and we can hang out together."  
  
Asanuma smiled and said, "Thanks. I'd like that. Happy day after birthday."  
  
"Thanks..."  
  
~ ~ ~  
  
The two spent the day in doors, because the rain hadn't stopped, and would continue to pour for another few hours.  
  
Asanuma was getting tired of Lita beating around the bush about last night, and he knew she felt uncomfortable about asking him why he was in the bed with her.  
  
"I thought I'd keep you warm, so I got in with you."  
  
"What?"  
  
"You looked cold, so I got in with you."  
  
"Oh...Well, I was cold. Thanks."  
  
Asanuma took her hand, and got as close as he possibly could without her moving away. "Lita, I want to know what your answer is. Will you marry me, and spend the rest of our days in happieness?"  
  
Lita didn't move, but her eyes filled with tears. There was nothing keeping her from marrying him, but she just couldn't say it.  
  
Asanuma leaned in a kissed her gently, but with all the lifeforce he had in him. His hand held her back, and the other rested on her cheek. Lita's tears ran on to his face, they were so close. She didn't ever want to move from his grasp. She kissed him back with growing passion and eagerness. Every part of her ached and yearned to be held by him like this forever.  
  
Asanuma gently pulled away, and looked into her eyes and found his answer.  
  
~ ~ ~  
  
It's 2:50 a.m. Sunday March 3rd 2002. I took about a two hour break what with the stupid ghost crap (freaky!) and another movie I was watching, so all in all, I didn't do that badly...Tell me what you thought. This story is dedicated to Janna P. who thinks Sailor Jupiter kicks ass! Copyright 2002 Egyptian Princess Arigato, good luck, and God bless! ^.^ 


End file.
